So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
