i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
