Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
