Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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