I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
