I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
