stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
