I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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