My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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