lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
