Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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