if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
