oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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