Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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