Where did you get a picture of my penis
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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