The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
