So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
