just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
