O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
