i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
