Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
