Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
