omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
