hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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