My balls are so social today.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
