My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
