fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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