We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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