Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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