I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
