he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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