does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
