I hate all girls vehemently.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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