i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
