There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
