I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
