Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
