can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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