don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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