i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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