i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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