My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
