You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
