yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize