before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
