you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
