Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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