they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
