sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize