He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize