I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
