My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
