drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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