I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
