so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
