Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I am one with the molecules
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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