Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
