I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
