good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
